How to read body language

 the 7%-38%-55% Rule states that “55 percent of our communication is done through body language, 38 percent is done through tone of voice and 7 percent is done through our words”

55%?  Wow!! Guess it’s time to learn how to read body language.

Mr Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and most welcomed guests.

People communicate with each other nonverbally, through the use of gestures, posture, facial expressions and actions. Reading one’s body language can help you determine if someone truly means what they are saying to you.

It can also help you judge if a person is attracted to you, lying to you or is trying to hide their  feelings.

Let’s start with some basic rules to reading the signals that people give off through their body.

Number 1:

Pay attention to how close someone is to you.

• The closer they are, the more interested they are in you and what you have to say.
• The farther away they are from you, the less they are interested.
• If you move slightly closer to them, and they move further from you, this means that they don't want your interaction to be any more personal than it already is.
• If they don't move further away or if they move even closer to you, they probably feel comfortable around you.

 Number 2:

Watch their head position.

• A tilted head is a sign of sympathy
•  or if the person smiles while tilting their head it could mean they are flirting.
• Lowered heads is a sign of hiding something...
•  If they lower their head during a compliment, than the person may be shy, ashamed,  is trying to keep their distance , are in disbelief, or are thinking.
• If it is after an explanation that they have given, then they may be unsure if what they said was correct.
• Cocked heads can also mean that they are confused or challenging you

Number 3:

Look into their eyes.

• Looking to the side usually means the person is nervous, lying, or distracted.
•  It can also indicate submissiveness
•  or that the person is distrustful or unconvinced.
• If someone looks down a lot, they are probably shy.
• Dilated pupils means that the person is interested. It can also mean that they are on drugs
• Avoiding eye contact can mean that they are nervous it can also mean that they are attracted to you but are too shy to look into your eyes.

Number 4:

See if they're mirroring you:

• If someone mirrors, your appearance, this is a sign that they are interested in you and trying to establish rapport.
• Try changing your body position,. if you find that they change theirs similarly, they are most likely mirroring you.

Number 5:

      Check their arms:

• crossed arms can mean several things:

o    It can mean They are doing it out of habit,

o    They may be reserved,

o    They  may be uncomfortable with their weight

o    Or are they may be trying to hide something on their shirt

• If their arms are crossed while their feet are wider apart, this can be a sign of toughness or authority.
• If someone rests their arms behind their neck or head, they are open and laid back
• If their hands are on their hips, this can mean that they are waiting or are impatient.

Number 6:

Be aware of nervous gestures:

• If someone brushes their hair back with their fingers, this may be preening, a common sign that the person likes you,
•  or  it can mean that their thoughts conflict with yours. They might not say anything. If you see raised eyebrows, this probably means that they disagree with you.
• If the person wears glasses, and is constantly pushing them up onto their nose again, with a slight frown, that may also indicate they disagree with what you are saying.
• Look to make sure that they are not just casually adjusting them..
• Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes can mean that they are trying to understand what is being said or going on.
• It can also mean that they are skeptical.

Number 7:

Watch their feet:

• A fast tapping
•  shifting of weight
• or movement of the foot
•  will most often mean that the person is
•  impatient, excited, nervous, scared, or intimidated.
• If the person is sitting, feet crossed at the ankles means they're generally at ease.
• If while standing, a person seems to always keep their feet very close together, it probably means they are trying to be "proper" in some way.
• If they purposely touch their feet to yours, they are flirting!
• Also pay attention to the position their feet are pointed. If they’re pointed towards you they are probably interested in what you have to say.

Number 8:

Pay attention to the face

• It's easy to spot a confident person; they will make prolonged eye contact and have a strong posture.
•  Long eye contact can also be found in lovers' eyes.
• Watch the face, it will usually give off a quick involuntary and sometimes subconscious twitch when something happens that irritates, excites, or amuses them.

Do you Ever wonder if someone is lying to you? Well the following are some signs of that they probably are:

1.  Their Physical expression:

Is limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements.

Their Hand, arm and leg movements are toward their own body taking up less space.

They  avoid making eye contact with you

• and They will also touch their face, throat & mouth and may also Touch or scratch their nose or behind their ear.

2. Emotional Gestures & Contradiction

•  The Timing and duration of  their emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace meaning that their display of emotions is delayed, stays longer than it would naturally, and then stops suddenly.

Example: Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.

•  Their gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”

• Their expressions are limited to mouth movements when faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc. Vs a fake smile in which  only their cheeks and mouth move.

3. Interactions and Reactions

• A guilty person will get defensive whereas An innocent person will often go on the offensive.

• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn their head or body away.

• A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.

4. Verbal Context and Content

• A liar will use your words to answer a question. When asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”

•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: “ I didn't do it” instead of “I did not do it”

To conclude, it’s very important to be able to read someone’s body language as words only make up 7% of our communication where as body language makes up 55%.  Being able to read one’s body language will help you decipher what someone is actually thinking, whether or not they are lying to you or are whether or not they are attracted to you.

When trying to read someone, make sure to compare it their normal behaviour to be able to properly read their body language.

Start practising with your friends and family, in no time you will become a pro at reading people’s body language.

Thank  you