“ Incessant. Negative. Degrading. And almost always in control...” What Am I?
Fellow Toastmasters and most welcome guests.
I would like to share with you a story about a girl.
A girl that would always hear voices in her head.
She doesn’t seem to remember hearing them when she was a child.
For as a child everything seemed to be so peaceful.
So easy.
So adventurous.
So courageous and so loving.
As time went on, things began to change.
She began to become moulded and influenced by society.
By her parents.
Her friends.
Her religion.
Her culture.
And most especially by the media that surrounded her.
She never noticed the affect it had on her until she was a teenager and began to hear the first voice in her head.
She was in her senior year and really wanted to become popular. For that reason she had an obsession with becoming a cheerleader.
So she finally decided to sign up for try outs hoping that it would help boost reputation.
Walking down the hallway on her way to the try outs the voice inside her started.
“ What are you doing Ashley!! You will never make the team!!!
You are no cool enough
You are not pretty enough
You’re not good enough.
Stop Ashely! Go back!
Just go home!”
Step by step the voice began to become louder and louder. It became so overwhelming that she couldn’t take another step.
Standing there frozen, fear and worry began to creep in.
After a minute or so the tears began to roll down her face.
The voice had won!
She immediately ran to the bathroom and spent the whole lunch break in there.
Defeated ,she went home and began to the one thing that she loved most.
Writing.
She had begun to write as a child.
There was something about being able to create her own characters and her own story that was magical and freeing.
In a sense it had become her escape from reality.
She had hundreds and hundreds of short stories that she kept hidden away.
One day her mother walked into her room to tell Ashley about a writing competition that she had heard about. She tried to convince her to enter and left the information on her bed.
As soon as her mother walked away she began to hear the voice again.
“ hahahah you really think you are good enough to submit anything?|
You’re stories are so lame!
Who would actually want to read it.
The judges will probably laugh when they read what you wrote.
There is no way that you will ever win.”
Again.
The voice inside her won.
As the years went on the voice inside her never left her side.
“Your so fat
You’re so ugly
He will never go for you
You will never get this job
You are so stupid!
This voice had followed her all the way up until collage.
One day, walking down the hall she had noticed a signup sheet for cheerleading.
Deja vu immediately struck as she began to think about the horrifying day back in high school.
She began to walk right past the sheet when something inside her stopped her.
A voice inside her said:
Stop Ashley!
Now she was a little confused for this was not the same voice as before.
This voice was very soft gentle and soothing. She felt a sense of ease and comfort.
The voice went on to say
“Sign up Ashley, you can do this.”
She hesitated for a moment but something about his voice felt very safe and trusting so she listened
She singed up.
Not only did she make the team but she ended up winning several medals.
A couple days later she had received an email about a writing competition in which the winner would get their book published.
Deja vu struck yet again.
And the oh so familiar deep and cynical voice started
“Don’t even think about it! You know you will never get chosen. You should have stopped writing years ago.”
Than out of nowhere the new voice began to speak in a soft and encouraging manner
“You can do this.
You have been writing for years.
You know you are good!
What do you have to lose?
Just do it!”
Torn between the two voices in her head she decided to go through with it.
Her book is now being published in 10 languages!
“Incessant. Negative. Degrading. And almost always in control...” What Am I?
I am your ego.
I am that voice that you have created due to the influences of people around you.
Your family constantly telling you not do something.
Your teacher telling you are not good at this or that.
Your friends making fun of you.
Your religion and culture dictating how to live your life.
The images on TV and in magazine making you feel unworthy.
These all play a hand at fuelling the ego.
That voice which keeps you in a state of fear, worry, anticipation and separation.
That voice that brings you down.
The voice that you must gain control of.
So what was that voice in Ashley’s head?
You guessed it.
It was her ego!
What was that other voice inside her head?
It was her spirit, her intuition, her essence, her angel whatever you choose call it doesn’t matter.
What matters is that it is the voice that you must listen to.
It is the voice of love
It is the voice of encouragement
It was the voice that guides you throughout life.
The voice that tells you the exact right word to say at the exact right time.
The voice of God or whatever you believe in.
What is the moral of this story?
Each and every single one of us has these voices in our head.
Take the time to pay attention.
Who is speaking to you?
Your ego?
Or Your spirit?
Take your power back. Do not allow your ego to take control.
Thank you
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